Muffet The Mom
by Barbacar
Summary: A series of short stories of varrying length, set in an AU of sorts with Muffet acting like a mother to Frisk. Open to prompts
1. Advertising

Frisk walked up to the kitchen and saw Muffet standing proudly next to several stacks of spider pastries. In her mouth was a huge, tremendously fat purple cigar made from spiders and webbing, the tip glowing bright purple.

Muffet puffed a purple smoke ring and placed a final spider donut onto one of the stacks. "What do you think, sweetie?" asked Muffet.

Frisk looked at the stacks of pastries and gave a thumbs up.

"So," said Muffet, taking a drag, "any ideas for how to advertise these? Something that will catch customer's attention?"

Frisk put a hand on their chin to think for a bit.

Muffet casually paced around the room.

"How about, 'If These Don't End Up In Your Stomach, You'll End Up In My Stomach'? Would that work?" asked Muffet.

Frisk shook their head.

"Hmm, I suppose that is a tad too aggressive." said Muffet, blowing a smokey cobweb. "How about, 'Hope You Enjoy These, Because There's No Refunds'? Is that any better?"

Frisk shook their head again.

"I suppose that would put off potential buyers. Alright then, how about 'Spider Pastries, They May Be Made Of Spiders, But There's Nothing Creepy About These Crawlies'? How does that sound?"

Frisk shrugged.

"I suppose it is a tad corny." said Muffet with a giggle. "Well, I'll see if I can come up with any more."

For the next while, Muffet shared ideas for advertising slogans with Frisk, who gave their opinions. They didn't settle on one, but they did enjoy coming up with ideas.


	2. Getting Dressed Up

Frisk looked around the elegant purple house for Muffet. Eventually, they walked upstairs to Muffet's room and opened the door. They looked around the room, but didn't seem to find any sign of her. As they approached the door to Muffet's walk-in closet, however, they began to smell the familiar scent of musty, pleasant smelling smoke.

Opening the door to the walk-in closet, Frisk passed by rows of different outfits, most frilly and/or purple, to see Muffet looking into an oval mirror.

Her black hair was down, and it was long enough to reach past her waist. A big fat purple cigar was in its usual place in her mouth, and she periodically took a hands-free drag on it. She was wearing a poofy lavender dress, six purple opera gloves, and a wide-brimmed violet hat with a flower in it.

Her six arms were being used to brush her hair, apply make up, drum her fingers on a nearby table, blow-dry her hair, toss a few nearby spiders into her mouth, and adjust her hat, respectively. As Frisk approached, Muffet saw them in the mirror and said "Oh! I didn't see you come in."

Muffet set down the hairbrush and blow-dryer before turning to face Frisk. "So dear, you may be wondering why I've decided to dress up like this."

Muffet puffed a cloud of purple smoke shaped like a heart. "You see, I'm getting ready for a blind date. I trust I'll be able to leave you alone in the house, and won't have to tie you up in a web?"

Frisk nodded.

Muffet giggled. "Very well, sweetie." She said, adjusting her hat.

Frisk gestured to the hairbrush and hair-dryer, as well as similar items, on the table.

"Oh, you can help if you want." said Muffet, nodded.

Muffet turned back around to face the mirror. Frisk pushed a stool up behind her and stepped onto it, reaching over and grabbing some hair-care tools.

Over the next half hour or so, Frisk worked on helping Muffet look nice for her blind date. With the assistance of some nearby spiders, they worked on brushing, shampooing, rinsing, blow-drying, picking spiders out of, and combing her hair. They also help with working on her nails and make-up. Meanwhile, Muffet cheerfully chatted with them about various things that happened to her in the past, including a rather amusing anecdote involving a tree, a box full of explosives, and a street urchin.

When Frisk was done. They stepped off of the stool and let Muffet take a look at herself in the mirror.

"Why, I look beautiful! Thanks for the help, dear." said Muffet. She happily took a drag on her big cigar.

Frisk followed Muffet as she walked towards the front door. Right before she opened it, Frisk grabbed a purple parasol from the floor and handed it to Muffet, who opened it to reveal a spiderweb pattern.

"Why, thank you, sweetie, this really completes the look." said Muffet, twirling the parasol around. "I'll be back soon. Wish me luck!"

Frisk gave a thumbs up.

"Ta-ta for now!" said Muffet, blowing a smokey kiss that landed on Frisk's cheek before she headed out the door.


	3. The Old Cellar

With Muffet away on her blind date, Frisk decided to take this opportunity to explore the house. They searched a few cupboards in the kitchen, finding some pieces of saltwater spider taffy. Placing it in their pocket, Frisk then searched the pantry, finding mostly spiders and food made of spiders.

After that, they wandered around for a bit before finding the door to the basement. Pulling the door open, Frisk descended the stairs to the darkness. Reaching into their pocket, they pulled out an old-fashioned lighter, usually used to light candles, fireworks, or Muffet's huge cigar. Frisk flicked the wheel and the lighter flared to life, lighting up the darkness.

They searched the rather expansive basement for a while, encountering among other things, a large purple cannon, a pile of purple bombs, a pile of cookbooks, countless cobwebs, an old distillery, and a huge monster that seemed to be a combination between a cupcake and a spider.

Frisk recognized them as Mr. Tuffet, Muffet's loyal pet. He wasn't the first Mr. Tuffet, though. The Mr. Tuffets before him had variably been blown up, eaten, blasted off to who-knows-where, squished, rolled into a cigar, disintegrated, or met their end in various other ways. Muffet didn't seem to mind that much, simply cooking up another Mr. Tuffet.

Frisk tip-toed carefully, trying not to arouse Mr. Tuffet's attention. Sure, being made mostly of pastry meant that Mr. Tuffet wasn't able to do much harm even if he ate Frisk, but waiting to get spat back out could get annoying.

Frisk carefully made their way around Mr. Tuffet, managing to avoid being spotted. They sighed in relief as they continued walking, before they heard a sizzling sound.

Frisk looked over and say that they had accidentally lit a nearby pile of bombs with their lighter. Frisk could only groan before a the bombs blew up in their face in a loud explosion that shook the house.

When the explosion cleared, Frisk was left covered in soot and with charred hair. They then noticed that Mr. Tuffet had been alerted by the explosion, and was now looking at them with a cheerful hunger. Frisk sighed in annoyance as they sprinted out of the basement.


	4. A Spider Cake

Frisk had finished dusting the soot off of their clothes when they heard the front door open. Walking over to the front hall, they saw Muffet arriving home. She twirled her parasol as she blew a few smoke rings from her cigar. She had looked mostly the same as when she left, with one notable difference. Her belly was bulging outwards, like she had recently eaten a lot.

"Hello, dear!" said Muffet, smiling as she set down her parasol. "I take it you were okay while I was gone?"

Frisk nodded before asking Muffet why she had such a full stomach, giving her bulging belly a poke.

"Oh, that?" said Muffet. She sounded slightly embarrassed as she said "That would be my blind date. See, it's a funny story, sweetie. The date went off to a pretty good start, and they were such a charmer. Soon, we both leaned in for a kiss. Unfortunately, spider instincts kicked in at that moment, and I ended up swallowing them whole."

Frisk couldn't help but giggle.

Muffet placed a hand on her stomach before saying "Don't worry. I'll spit them out soon enough."

Frisk smiled and gave a thumbs up.

"Now then." said Muffet, taking a drag. "Anything you want for dinner?"

Frisk infromed Muffet that they wanted spider casserole for dinner, and spider cake for dessert.

"Sounds good to me, sweetie." said Muffet, giving Frisk a quick hug.

Over the next few hours, Muffet changed back into her regular outfit, did a few chores around the house, spat out her blind date (who made sure to give Muffet their number before leaving), and fed Mr. Tuffet.

Meanwhile, Frisk read some books, helped Muffet with her chores, and tried not to get eaten by Mr. Tuffet.

For dinner, Muffet cooked up a hearty spider casserole, which tasted rather tangy, and overall quite good.

Dessert time had come, and Muffet set down a velvety purple cake with a single candle in the center. Muffet stood by the table, grinning at Frisk with an unlit cigar in her mouth. Frisk smiled as they took out their lighter and lit the candle, the wick flaring to life.

Muffet then lifted up the cake, using the lit candle to light her cigar, before setting it down again.

"Shall we dig in?" asked Muffet, holding up two cake cutters, two knives, and two forks.

Frisk nodded happily and watched as Muffet began cutting them a piece.


	5. Drawings

Frisk sat on a comfy purple couch, making various drawings with a set of crayons. The drawings were of things like houses, trees, spiders, and things like that. Soon, they heard a sizzling and saw a slim purple hand crushing out a huge cigar on the table the drawings were on.

Muffet blew a smoke ring and said and said "Why hello, dearie! Seems you're pretty good at drawing."

Frisk nodded and smiled.

"Hmm." said Muffet. "Do you think you could draw up a picture of..." she tapped one of her hands to her chin thoughtfully. "A picture of a cupcake?"

Frisk nodded and began drawing up a picture of a pink and purple cupcake with a candle sticking out. When they finished, they showed Muffet, who smiled.

"My, my. Such a lovely drawing." said Muffet. "Say, I have an idea, but I will need to use your drawings for it. Is that okay?"

Frisk gave a thumbs up.

"Very well." said Muffet. She took the drawings with one of her hands, then used another to grab spider silk from nearby webs, and two more to get two handfuls of spiders.

After getting all the materials, Muffet used her six hands in remarkable precision and quickly made another one of her signature big purple cigars, this one nearly the size of a football. She then popped it into her mouth and said "Light me up, dear."

Frisk took their lighter from their pocket and used it to ignite the tip of Muffet's cigar.

"Thanks." said Muffet, taking a drag. Soon, the smoke from the cigar began to form shapes of houses, trees, spiders, cupcakes, and everything else that was on the drawing that were now rolled into the titanic stogie.

Frisk giggled as they saw the shapes.

"Seems my plan worked." said Muffet, noticing the shapes as she puffed on her spider cigar.


	6. Fun At The Park

Frisk was at the playground with Muffet, on a nice sunny day. Frisk soon spotted their favorite piece of playground equipment, the see-saw.

Sitting on one end of the see saw, Frisk called Muffet over. Muffet tapped some ash from her cigar into a nearby trash can before walking over.

Muffet giggled and said "Well, well dearie, returning to an old favorite are we? Very well."

Muffet took a seat at the other end of the seesaw, raising it up before quickly dropping herself down on it.

A metallic "SPROING!" filled the air as Frisk was catapulted high into the sky. They laughed and did a backflip in mid-air as they soared into the sky, confusing a few birds who were flying nearby. Frisk then tucked into a cannonball as they plummeted back to earth and towards Muffet, who looked on happily with her mouth slightly open.

However, Frisk ended up accidentally landing directly landing into Muffet's mouth, who reflexively swallowed them whole in a single gulp.

Muffet looked down with only mild surprise at her distended belly, giving it a poke. Frisk had landed in Muffet's dark and somewhat cramped stomach, which had a few cobwebs and live spiders crawling around.

After a few seconds of mild surprise, the two started giggling. This was far from the first time it had happened, to the point where the kids and parents nearby were only somewhat shocked by all this.

"Well." said Muffet, taking a drag on her cigar. "It seems I must have been hungrier than I thought. Want to be let out? Give one poke for yes."

Frisk poked the inside of Muffet's stomach and grinned.

"Sure thing, sweetie." said Muffet, blowing a few smoke rings that hung in the air above her. She then puckered her lips and spat Frisk out like a cannon.

Frisk soared through the smoke rings as they shot into the sky like a human cannonball. They soared even higher this time, again confusing some nearby birds. As they reached the height of their flight, Frisk did some somersaults in the air as they fell back towards the ground before using both feet to stomp down on the other end of the see saw just as they landed.

This caused the see saw to spring up with an even louder "SPROING!" launching Muffet far off into the sky, causing the children and parents nearby to look on in amazement. Frisk raised a hand to shade their eyes as they watched Muffet shoot off into the sky until she was only a speck, where she disappeared with a bright twinkle that made a high pitched ringing noise.

When the twinkle disappeared, the nearby kids and even some of the parents cheered in amazement at Frisk, who smiled warmly.


	7. Making Fireworks

Frisk made their way back home through the forest, soon coming across Muffet's large purple house. Stepping inside, they found that Muffet was already there, sitting on a couch in the front hall.

"Hello, dear!" said Muffet, voice slightly muffled by the cigar in her mouth. "Thanks for the flight. Now, I believe it's time for working on the fireworks for next weeks festival. Want to help?"

Frisk nodded, and Muffet went downstairs before bringing up several materials for fireworks. They spent the next hour or so working on fireworks. For the whole time, Muffet's cigar burned ever brightly in her mouth. She didn't seem to mind getting it so close to the explosives, in fact, she seemed to like it.

Soon, The two had made a big pile of fireworks.

"Excellent, dear." said Muffet. "This will surely bring cheers next week. Assuming it doesn't vaporize the entire forest."


	8. Cannon Project

Frisk walked around the big house, without much of a care in the world. They came across a storage closet and looked through it, finding various supplies Muffet sold at her bakery. They found a box of purple cigarettes, made of spiders and webbing just like Muffet's cigars. Muffet sold these at her bakery, as she preferred to keep her cigars for herself.

Frisk took a cigarette out and put it into their mouth, putting the box back. They weren't quite sure why, but this was something they'd like to do now and then. Muffet didn't seem to mind, since Frisk didn't light it. Though, given what they knew of Muffet, she probably wouldn't mind even if they did light it, since it was made of spiders and webs anyway.

"Frisk, dear, could you help me with something outside?" asked Muffet.

Frisk then walked outside to see Muffet, titanic cigar dangling from her mouth like always, cleaning an ornate purple cannon, similar to the type you would see in the circus. Frisk smiled as they saw the sight. They had been fired out of that same cannon quite a few times before, and they had always enjoyed it, even if it was kind of scary at first. It was usually reserved for speacial occasions, such as birthdays, holidays, talent shows, festivals, parties, things along those lines. Muffet was also wearing a headset.

Frisk walked up to Muffet and asked what the occasion was.

"Well, dear." said Muffet, cigar bobbing up and down in her mouth as she talked. "This is for a very special occasion. You see that?"

Muffet took her cigar from her mouth to point it at the full moon in the night sky.

Frisk nodded, curious to see where this was going.

"Well." said Muffet, smiling brightly. "I was thinking we could try to see if this cannon would be powerful enough to blast us all the way to it. Sure, it's in outer space, but this cannon is pretty strong. Why, it blasted Mr. Tuffet clear over the horizon on more than one occasion. Think of it, Frisk. You'd be the first child to land on the moon, and I'd be the first monster. All that fame would get our bakery a lot of revenue. In fact,"

Frisk wasn't sure if the idea would work, but they sure were excited about the idea. They smiled up at Muffet.

"Now, then." said Muffet. She held her cigar up to the cigarette in Frisk's mouth, lighting it. "Would you like to volunteer to test it out?"

Frisk was somewhat surprised by Muffet lighting their cigarette, but continued smiling. The cigarette tasted pretty much like how Muffet's cigar smelled, sort of like a smokey bakery filled with cakes and donuts. They agreed to test it out.

Muffet put her cigar back into her mouth and said "That's the spirit." Picking up Frisk with four of her arms, she carried them over the cannon and placed them inside. Adjusting the cannon's aim, Muffet pointed it up to the full moon in the sky.

She then placed a pair of headphones onto Frisk's head. "So we can communicate while you're on the moon." she explained, tapping her own headset.

Muffet picked up the fuse. "Are you ready, Frisk?"

Frisk nodded and gave a thumbs up.

Muffet smiled. She held the fuse up to both Frisk's cigarette and her own cigar, sparking it up and igniting it. As the fuse burned down, Muffet stepped back as she began counting down.

"Five...four...three...two...one..."

Frisk smiled as Muffet yelled "FIRE!"

The cannon indeed fire, blasting Frisk far off into the sky. Muffet stood next to the cannon, smiling with pride even as she was covered in soot from standing so close to the blast. She watched as Frisk cheered with excitement as they flew through the sky, leaving behind a trail of purple smoke from their cigarette. Soon, they disappeared into the night sky with a twinkle in the direction of the moon.


	9. Testing The Cannon

Frisk shot off through the night sky with glee, rocketing towards the moon like a human missile. They were getting closer than they had before, when they finally hit the arc of their flight and began to lose altitude. Frisk honestly didn't mind that much. They were a little disappointed that they weren't going to make it to the moon just yet, but they enjoyed the flight all the same.

They landed with a tumble near the outskirts of the vast forest. Their headphones were dented but still working, their clothes were scuffed up but not torn, and the cigarette in their mouth was bent and crooked, but still lit. They dusted themselves off and looked around.

"Hello, deaire." called Muffet's voice from the headphones Frisk was wearing. "That was quite a magnificent flight you just had. Too bad you didn't quite reach the moon. Oh well, maybe next time."

Frisk heard a sound from the headphones that they recognized to be Muffet taking a drag on her cigar. "Anyway, I trust you'll be able to make it back home, but I have a plan that'll get you back quicker. Now, judging from where you landed, you should see a an old burned stump."

Frisk looked around, eventually seeing a large tree stump that was charred black.

"It was a fairly big and old tree. I decided to test one of my explosives on it. I figured the forest wouldn't miss a tree or two." said Muffet with a giggle.

Frisk smiled and stepped onto the stump. They looked around, the cigarette in their mouth providing some light.

"If you found it, you should see a path that's covered in light blue glowing mushrooms."

Frisk indeed found the path with the mushrooms and walked down it. The wind blew through their air, which they had grown out a bit longer since living with Muffet, since Muffet enjoyed styling hair.

They then came across a shed filled with all manner of explosives, from bombs to dynamite to fireworks, with one especially large firework in the back.

"If you followed the path and reached the shed, you know what to do." said Muffet. She giggled and said "Don't worry about vaporizing the shed from existence. I haven't used it in years."

Frisk nodded and tied the large firework to their back.

"Light it up." said Muffet, and Frisk could hear her take another drag.

Frisk took the cigarette from their mouth and, in an action they saw done in a few movies, as well as done by Muffet herself a few times, tossed the lit cigarette into the pile of explosives behind them and flashed a tooth grin.

In an instant, the shed exploded, incinerating several nearby trees in the process. Frisk smiled with excitement as the firework on their back ignited and they rocketed off into the air.

They shot through the sky back in the direction of Muffet's house. They saw her standing in the yard, still wearing a headset and taking a drag on her fat purple cigar.

Frisk quickly untied themselves from the firework and tumbled to the ground. They didn't quite expect the firework to keep going and rocket right into Muffet, carrying her off into the night sky.

The firework soon exploded in the night sky, showing an image of Muffet.

A few seconds later, Frisk heard Muffet's voice in their headphones.

"Nice pyrotechnics, sweetie, but you need to work on your landings."

Frisk grinned sheepishly and laughed.


	10. Hair Styling

After a long day of exploring the forest, Frisk returned home, hair and clothes covered in dirt. As soon as they walked through the front door, they say Muffet standing in the front hall. Her superbly sizable spider stogie dangled from the lips of her grinning mouth, her six arms were all folded, and in each of her six hands was a different hair-care tool. One held a bottle of shampoo, another held a hair dyer, another held a comb, another held a hair brush, another held a hair curler, and the last one held a pair of scissors.

"I think it's about time we worked on your hair, dear." said Muffet with a smirk.

Frisk nodded and followed Muffet to a room with a chair, a table, and a mirror. Taking a seat at the chair, Frisk looked at themselves in the mirror and noticed that their hair was rather messy. Soon, Muffet walked up behind them, still holding the hair tools, and got to work shampooing their hair.

As she shampooed her hair, Muffet happily chatted with Frisk about how business was going, and about how she accidentally swallowed a customer. Frisk giggled as Muffet explained that the customer was surprisingly understanding about what happened.

After shampooing and washing Frisk's hair, Muffet began cutting it in a few places. As she did, she and Frisk continued chatting about various topics, such as a few dates Muffet had gone on. The large cigar never left Muffet's mouth during this, and the glowing tip sometimes sprinkled ash into Frisk's hair. Neither seemed to mind.

After that, Muffet began styling Frisk's air and telling them a story from her childhood.

"Swallowing one another is actually a rather common occurrence in my species. Why, that's how I used to tease my brother many times. He used to mess with me by extinguishing my cigar or putting glue in my hat or something to that effect, but I'd get back at him every time. Usually by eating him, sometimes by firing him out of a cannon, the list goes on."

As the young spider woman reminisced about her childhood, Frisk nodded and listened along while Muffet combed her hair.

Soon, Muffet was finished, and she stepped back so that Frisk could take in their new hair style. It was a pair of pigtails on the sides of their heads. Frisk found the new style both somewhat embarrassing and somewhat nice-looking, so they blushed as they gave Muffet a happy smile.

"Glad you like it, dear." said Muffet with a grin.


	11. Reading

Frisk was sitting on a purple couch in the living room, reading a book when they heard a loud, familiar scampering from behind them. They turned around to see Mr. Tuffet, Muffet's pet spider-cupcake-thing.

"Oh, are you there dear?" called Muffet's voice from inside Mr. Tuffet.

Frisk told her that they were.

"Oh, that's good dear. I've got some books in here that I'm finished with. Want to read some of them?"

Frisk told her that they would.

"Sounds nice. Wait just a moment."

A few seconds later, Mr. Tuffet spat out a large green book, and it landed on the table in front of the couch.

Frisk smiled and asked Muffet if she wanted to read a book they finished reading.

"That would be lovely." said Muffet's voice from inside Mr. Tuffet.

Frisk picked up another book from the table and tossed it into 's mouth, where it was promptly swallowed down.

"Thanks a lot." said Muffet, as Mr. Tuffet skittered away.

Muffet had the oddest reading spots


	12. Preparing For School

As Frisk woke up and got dressed, they headed down stairs to see Muffet frantically doing as many chores and work as she could at once with her six arms.

"Oh, hello dear. Good morning." she said quickly. "I'm rather busy today, so I'll have to get you read for school quickly."

Frisk watched as Muffet quickly loaded all of Frisk's school supplies into their backpack. Muffet then picked the backpack up and walked over to Frisk, placing it on their back. Frisk noticed that Muffet had forgot to light the big purple cigar in her mouth in her rush to prepare, so they grabbed the lighter from their pocket And lit the spider's stogie, prompting a "Thanks, dearie." as Muffet put a bagged lunch in Frisk's backpack before straightening their hair and flicking a spider off their shoulder.

Muffet zipped up the backpack before picking up Frisk with two of her arms and carrying them outside. Frisk waited casually as they saw Muffet approach the large purple cannon in front of their house. Muffet put Frisk in the cannon's barrel and adjusted the aim before lighting the fuse with her cigar.

"Bye, have a good day at school, sweetheart!" said Muffet quickly before placing a kiss on Frisk's cheek just before the cannon fired.

Frisk was shot off into the sky. They soared over the trees, and soon approached the school. Landing right in front of the school on their feet, they nonchalantly headed to class. This type of entrance wasn't uncommon, so most of Frisk's classmates were only mildly surprised.


	13. Spider Hugs

Frisk sat on the couch and watched a tiny spider, one of countless in the manor, crawl along the armrest. The spider was tiny enough that it looked like a purplish bat on eight spindly legs, and it skittered across the armrest and along the couch's back cushion. Frisk, somewhat bored, decided to watch the spider's activities further.

The teeny arachnid walked along the top of the cushion, its eight legs working together in perfect sync. Soon, it crawled off of the cushion and onto Frisk's finger. It tickled slightly, but Frisk let the spider skitter along their hand. Most children wouldn't admit this, especially not human children, but Frisk found spiders to be kind of cute. It might have been due to the fact that they'd been raised by a spider for a while.

After letting it crawl around on their hand for a while, Frisk put their hand down on the couchside table, and the spider climbed onto the tabletop. Frisk smiled happily at the cute little bug.

Suddenly, a slender purple arm plucked the spider off of the table. Frisk turned to see that Muffet was now standing next to the couch, and she wrapped the spider, and many, together with several handfuls of webbing into a huge, impressively fat violet cigar. Muffet smiled and placed the stogie into her mouth, looking at Frisk.

Frisk shrugged, grinned, and took their lighter from their pocket, switching it on and holding it up to their mother's cigar.

As it lit up, Muffet said "Thanks, dear!" and leaned forward, planting a kiss on Frisk's cheek. The cigar in her mouth came close to burning them, but Frisk didn't mind. They smiled even wider and gave their spider mom a big hug. Muffet giggled and gave a six-armed hug right back.


	14. Baking Lesson

Frisk was minding their own business in the library of Muffet's manor. The library was, of course, covered in webs, and spiders were crawling all over the room. They soon found an interesting looking book and set it down on a wooden table, squishing a few spiders in the process.

They started reading the book, and managed to read through about a quarter of it before they suddenly felt themselves being lifted into the air by their shirt collar. They were turned around and saw the familiar grinning face of Muffet. Her familiar five eyes looked at Frisk happily, and dangling from her familiar grin was her familiarly large cigar. Frisk giggled and gave their mother's cigar a poke.

"I think it's about time that I teach you about baking." said Muffet. "How does that sound?"

Frisk nodded happily. Muffet then placed the child on her uppermost set of shoulders and carried them out of the library. Muffet hummed as she carried Frisk through the manor, puffing a few clouds of purple smoke. Muffet was a rather rich girl, and her house was quite vast and well-decorated. They past by a few expertly weaved webs on the way to the kitchen, where a large, rather ornate oven sat. Muffet set down and took a drag on her cigar.

"Alright." she said, blowing a smoke cloud shaped like a cupcake. "We'll be making some spider cupcakes."

Muffet looked up at the ceiling, where hundreds of tiny spiders were crawling around on webs. Muffet smiled and reached into her pocket, taking out a small whistle and handing it to Frisk. Frisk nodded before blowing into the whistle. They didn't hear the sound it made, but the spiders on the ceiling soon crawled down, eventually forming a swarm on the counter. Muffet hummed another song to herself as she waked over to a nearby kitchen cupboard and pulled out a large, hefty purple mallet. The two smirked at each other knowingly.

"Want to do the honors?" asked Muffet, pointing the hammer towards Frisk.

Frisk was tempted, but told Muffet to go ahead herself.

"Very well." said Muffet. She blew a purple smoke ring before raising the hammer with all six arms. Frisk stepped back a bit.

Muffet swung down the huge mallet into the counter in one swift motion, and soon both she and Frisk were covered in purple spider juice. They both laughed as Muffet scooped up the purple juice and poured it into a big bowl, along with some flour, yeast, silk, and spider legs for texture. Handing Frisk a spoon, she took a drag on her cigar and watched fondly as Frisk quickly stirred the ingredients together into a mixture. Muffet ashed a bit of her cigar into the bowl. Frisk didn't mind, seeing as how it was all spiders and webs anyway.

When the stirring was done, Frisk gave the spoon a lick, the spider batter tasting quite good, if a bit eerie. Muffet brought out some cupcake trays, holding them out. Frisk poured out the bowl into the trays, watching the batter slowly ooze out of the bowl. when each of the trays were filled, Muffet walked over to the oven, pulling the door open and sliding each of the trays in before closing it. She set the timer, and took a seat on top of the large stove. Muffet hummed a tune to herself as she brewed herself a cup of tea and sipped from it. After a while, however, it became apparent that the oven had shut off.

Muffet climbed off of the stove and said "Hmm, I wonder what it could be." She opened the over door and stuck her head inside, the huge spider stogie still hanging from her mouth. Frisk walked closer to her as she muttered "Perhaps it's something to do with the gas."

Frisk noticed a weird smell just as they saw a purple spark fly off of the tip of their mother's cigar. Then another. Soon, the tip of her stogie was sparkling in a rather pretty, if quite concerning way. Seeing as there was little way to prevent the inevitable, Frisk just smirked, shook their head, and plugged their ears.

With a blinding, massive purple fireball, the oven exploded, taking the kitchen and half of the manor with it. Frisk and Muffet were blasted far off into the sky by the sugary-scented explosion, Frisk hanging on to their spider mom tightly as they rocketed off over the horizon, twinkling among the stars.

The two landed somewhere far away, leaving a small crater. They crawled out, both thoroughly covered in soot. Muffet's ribbons had been blown off in the explosion, and her soot-filled hair reached past her waist. The cigar in her mouth had been reduced to a large smoldering stub, and the two smelled like cupcakes and flour. Muffet nonchalantly licked three of her thumbs before using them to wipe some of the soot from Frisk's cheeks. The two stood in silence for a short while, looking around a bit in the plain they had landed it. Then, the two burst out laughing.

"I thought I'd smelled gas." giggled Muffet. "Oh, well, I supposed I needed a new oven anyway. Something tells me I'll be needing a new kitchen, too."

She smiled at Frisk and said "Well, I'd say that was a decent enough baking lesson. I'd bet it was a good lesson in pyrotechnics, too."

Frisk let out a short laugh.

Muffet looked up to the sky and spat out what was left of her cigar, watching as it flew through the air before vanishing into the distance. Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out a newer, more intact cigar. Popping it into her mouth, she looked down at Frisk, who pulled the lighter from her pocket and provided her a light for her spidery smoke.

Muffet took a drag before blowing a purple smoke cloud, shaped like an arrow pointed towards home. "Well then, let's head back."

The walk home was fairly lengthy, but enjoyable. Muffet happily told Frisk a few stories similar to this incident. Apparently, this wasn't exactly the first time an oven exploded on her. She also blew clouds of violet smoke in whatever shape Frisk would request. Muffet didn't usually wear her hair down, so Frisk took this opportunity to feel it a few times. It felt silky smooth, like spider thread. It also smelled like cake, though that was most likely from the recent explosion. They had come across a handful of people on their walk home, to which they were more than eager to recount the story of why they were in the middle of nowhere, covered in soot.

Eventually, they were back at Muffet's manor, which had a considerable chunk blown out of it.

"Well, would you look at that." said Muffet casually, gesturing with her cigar. "It seems like a kitchen renovation is in order. Shouldn't take too long."

With that, the manor took that tempt of fate to finally succumb to the damage of the explosion, and the whole house came crashing down into a heap.

Muffet, still not especially fazed, took a long drag and said "Seems like a lot of renovations are in order." She turned to Frisk with a grin and said "Would you be interested in an architecture lesson?"


	15. Construction Work Step 1

After Muffet's manor had been destroyed, the two had spent the night sleeping in web-weaved hammocks between the trees. The following day, they got to planning on rebuilding. Muffet had recovered a shiny purple construction helmet from what remained of her wardrobe, and donned it with pride. She still hadn't found her ribbons, so her silky black hang hung freely, ending at her waist. Of course, her huge, grape-colored cigar rarely left her smiling mouth, and it emphasized both her authority and elegance, two things she desired to show off as forewoman of the project.

The workers primarily consisted of Muffet's many spiders, but since some of the work required things like opossable thumbs or a weight of more than a gram, she also hired some local monsters to help with construction. Fortunately, Muffet's supply of money and riches were in the basement and thus unharmed, so she had more than enough money to pay for the rebuilding.

Muffet had also acquired quite a few tools from a shed a few hundred yards away from the wreck that used to be her manor, and had given them out to the workers. She also have some out to Frisk, letting them to help in anyway they want.

Before the construction began, Muffet had drafted plans for the new manor, showing them off to the workers she hired. The new mansion would be similar to the old one, but bigger and with additional rooms, the purposes of which she hadn't yet decided.

First things first was to gather materials, namely wood. The forest the manor was in was, of course, abundant in wood. Muffet surveyed the horizon for a bit before seeing a patch of what looked like strong, tall trees. Muffet announced that she was going to do some logging and Frisk offered to help. So, they got some tools from a nearby shed. Frisk got a simple-looking woodcutting axe and a backpack full of explosives. Muffet got a huge, powerful looking chainsaw that she needed four arms to carry. By the huge smile Muffet had on her face, Frisk could tell that she had been wanting to use it for a long time.

To get to the trees she wanted, Muffet had set up a gigantic slingshot made from a huge web. She and Frisk sat in it as a few of the workers pulled it back, waiting for Muffet's command to release.

As the two sat in the slingshot, waiting to be flung into the wild blue yonder, Muffet flicked a few switches on her chainsaw. She turned to Frisk and said "I trust you've been airborne enough times to be used to this sort of thing." As she talked, her huge cigar bobbed up and down in her mouth and shook loose a bit of ash.

Frisk nodded in affirmation.

"So, ready for launch?" asked Muffet.

Firsk gave a thumbs up.

Muffet smiled before turning back to the workers and saying "Alright, boys. Send us off!"

The slingshot was released, flinging Muffet and Frisk far off into the forest. They both grinned with glee as they soared over the treeline. Soon, they began to arc downwards. Frisk landed on the top of an especially tall tree, while their mother landed a short while away on a rather leafy bush. Muffet climbed out of the bush before making their way to the tree Frisk had landed in.

"Hello!" she said, taking a hands-free drag on the huge stogie hanging from her mouth. "Nice to see that you've had a soft landing. But, you seem to be stuck. I think I know what to do."

With a somewhat maniacal giggle, Muffet pulled the cord on her chainsaw. The power tool roared to life and the spider girl quickly swung the blade into the trunk of the large tree. The roaring blade of the machine dug into the tree, spraying sawdust in several directions. Frisk could feel the giant tree begin to shake as Muffet cheerfully hummed to herself, cigar burning ever brightly in her mouth. As the tree came crashing to the ground, Frisk jumped off, soon being caught in Muffet's arms as she set the chainsaw down. Muffet gave them a big hug and a smoky kiss on the cheek before setting them down and picking her chainsaw back up.

"Alright." she said. "Time to do some logging."

Frisk nodded, holding their hatchet over their head.

Together, the two spent the next hour or so leveling the section of forest they had landed in. Muffet used her chainsaw to bring down even the sturdiest trees in a matter of seconds, while Frisk used their axe to chop down some of the smaller ones. For every tree they felled together, a swarm of spiders would come and carry the fallen tree back to the construction site.

At one point, Frisk took out a bomb from their backpack and walked over to Muffet.

"That, dear, is a bomb designed for just such an occasion." she smiled. "It's powerful enough to blast a tree in half, but it won't cause a fire. Go ahead."

While Muffet didn't specify to light the bomb fuse off of her cigar, Frisk could sense that she wasn't going to stop them from doing so. So, they held the fuse up to the cherry of their mom's cigar, before hucking it at the nearest group of trees. With a boom, the trees were blown right out of the ground, landing a short ways away before being carried away.

"That's the spirit!" grinned Muffet, patting her child on the head. "Now let's gather some more lumber." she added, revving her chainsaw again.

After a short while, they had gotten most of the wood they needed to rebuild the manor. They watched the spiders carry the last of the lumber back to the construction zone as they took a walk through a more intact section of the woods.

"You know," said Muffet, "you're quite the little lumberjack. Thanks to you we have enough to rebuild the manor in record time."

She said "You make me proud." and promptly gave them another big, six-armed hug. However, a tiny flake of ash fell from Muffet's cigar and onto the fuse of one of the many bombs still in Frisk's backpack. When she heard the sound of a fuse sizzling, Muffet opened her eyes, blinked a few times, and said "Whoops. How clumsy of me."

From where the construction workers were, there could be seen an enormous purple mushroom cloud erupting from the forest, blasting half of the forest away.

When the smoke cleared, Muffet and Frisk were both standing in the middle of a bunch of fallen trees, again covered from head to toe in soot. As the swarm of spiders came back to collect the lumber, Muffet just giggled and said "Well, I guess having a few additions to our home wouldn't be too much hassle."

With that, she led Frisk over to one of the few intact trees nearby. She bent it back and used some webs to hold it in place as she and Frisk climbed on to it.

"Would you like to do the honours?" asked Muffet.

Frisk nodded and took out their axe, using it to chop the webs holding the tree down. In one swift motion, the tree snapped back, flinging the two back into the sky. They landed back at the construction site with a smile, and Muffet turned to the workers she hired, saying "Okay, boys. Time for step two!"


End file.
